Contents Part  I Self-Coaching Phase: Working Without Your Partner 1.    Can I Really Save my Relationship?  2.    Why Your Relationship Isnt the Problem 3.     Insecurity and Control: Relationship Baggage 4.    Self-Coaching: Eliminating Your Contribution to the Problem 5.     Are You a Tiger, Turtle, Elephant, Ostrich, or Peacock?  Learning Your Reflexive Personality Style 6.      Assessing Your Reflexive Personality Patterns 7.     Sketching Your Self-Portrait 8.     Self-Talk: How to Let Go of Personal Baggage 9.      Self-Talk Step Two: Stop Listening to What Hurts You 10.    Self-Talk Step Three: Letting Go of What Hurts You 11.    Sketching a Relationship Portrait: Seeing the Whole Problem Part TwoCatalytic Phase: Working With Your Partner 12.     Creating a Relationship Vacuum 13.     Working with Self + Self = Us Portraits 14.     Coaching Each Other: Risking Trust 15.     Putting It All Together: Follow-Through 16.     Love, Infatuation, and Infidelity 17.     True Love, Great Sex: A Self-Coaching Understanding 18.      The Ten Essential Principles of Successful Relating